Ladies there will always be someone prettier than us, richer than us, has a better personality than us, more wiser than us sooooo we have to get over the insecurities. When you know who you are as a person and know what you can bring to any relationship then there is no room to be insecure when others comes around. Just be happy with yourself. That’s the way God made you.

When I’m out with my husband there can be the most beautiful woman around and I’ll tell her she’s pretty. If we are at the store and I see someone with a cute blouse on I’ll say excuse me where did you get your top, I love it! Now if my husband decides he’s interested in someone other than me whether it be a stranger or someone I know, (I have beautiful friends inside out) if he disrespect me (he knows better) in my face I will say something on the spot.  If he ever tried it again or even ever cheated on me I would forgive him once, but I will never be afraid to walk away because I’m secure within myself and if he thinks his life would be better with someone else then I’ll let him have that. Never will I act insecure around others or avoid anyone because I’m afraid he would be attracted to them. That is no way to live and if you fear that in a guy, it’s time to get rid of him and time for you to get secure within yourself! 

Now some women are just insecure period with or without a man. They treat women mean without even letting the person open their mouth to see if they have a good heart. I was talking to my 17 year old reader about her insecurities (perfectly normal at her age) and told her you are special and you have to know that deep down inside. You cannot compare yourself with others because that will put you in a rut. Instead take that time and better yourself and follow your dreams to make you better. You can be the most beautiful woman on earth and when you open your mouth you can get ugly  real quick! Beauty is also in the eyes of the beholder, so there will be some people that think you’re pretty and others that will tell your friends, but there is no need to feel insecure when you are around anyone. Hold your head high with a smile. That’s what I call beauty.:)

No matter what happens in your life know what you have to offer in a relationship. Value yourself enough to know that you are worth a man cherishing only you. Of course they’ll glance  at other women that’s human nature, but know that there is a man that will respect you and only have eyes for you! People can tell when you are insecure so don’t give off an insecure energy when out with your friends or your guy.:)

P.S My husband hates when I write posts like this, he hates when I involve him in my girl power messages, he ses why do I have to involve him in my post when he did nothing:). But what he does knows is that what I’m saying is real. That’s why he loves me:)

Tip of the day: Proverbs 17;22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Wearing: F21 dress, Gucci shoes, Banna Republic, Balenciaga Bag.

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32 thoughts on “Stop letting someone elses presence intimidate you…be secure within yourself.

  1. The outfit is so pretty! I am loving that dress!!

    Tanya, I am giving you a standing ovation for this post. I listen to Steve Harvey sometimes and the Strawberry Letters alot of these women write has my heart hurting for them. The things they allow themselves to be put through. All too often we as women allow our insecurities to make us feel less than we are. We allow it to make us stay/be with a man that repeatedly mistreats us. We have to know our own worth and take nothing from anybody that doesn't cherish that!

    I have learned to look at me and love ME and see the beauty in ME. I wasn't always at that point but I learned to get there and I am happy I am! Like you said, there are some richer, may even be prettier, but it does NOT make them better! That is what women (as well as men) need to understand. You are the YOU that God made YOU to be. Be the BEST YOU that you can and know YOUR own worth!! Katt Williams said it best "It's call SELF-esteem so esteem YOURSELF" Think of yourself in high regards don't wait for anyone else to do it and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!!

    Carsedra of:

  2. Tanya… Love the post!

    Your smile in the 4th picture is amazing… May god continue to bless you!

  3. I agree with your message 100% … It is so important to be secure and BE WHO YOU ARE at all times. We cannot please everyone but it is so important to stay true to ourselves, be it with our man or friends. My husband would hate it too if I involved him in my girl power posts … so I totally know what you mean.

    Love the girly look. The shot of your smiling is the best!!! Keep smiling always! 😀

    ♡ from ©

  4. You truly have a gift. I was literally on my knees earlier today praying for more confidence, to not allow anyone to have power over me and for me not to be envious of others physically or materialistically. I'm dealing with a lot in my personal life right now and I let my confidence waiver some (unintentionally). Your post was reinforcement and confirmation to my prayers. I thank God for you Tanya, you have no idea what your words have helped me through. Be blessed

  5. I HAD to come back to say, this post was right on time. I have avoided MANY relationships and friendships out of insecurity. God has used you to speak to me. THANK YOU so much for this!

  6. I sooooooo needed this "…be secure…." message today! I normally just lurk, but this was worth me coming out for. I think you are absolutely fabulous and love your positive messages.

  7. You are speaking the truth. I am so glad your husband understands.

    Growing up I had too many insecurities. I was asked once what are 5 things you loved about yourself and I couldn't get to three. If you were to ask me that today, I could go on and on without having to think twice. It was a journey, a lot of soul searching and learning to accept my strengths & weakness and the gifts God gave me.

    I guess now I am trying to figure out how to gain confidence. It is one thing to be secure with yourself, but I am a shy person by nature and working on being more confident- I know it takes time…

    I love each and every post.

    God bless,

  8. Yes, this post spoke to me to as I experienced something related to that exact post today, I know that I have some insecurities, but when some women do things on purpose, in front of your spouse, it just makes it down right disrespectful & intolerable. I try not to let it bother me, but it did. Praying to God to help me keep it together. I feel that I am beautiful inside & out, I go to great lengths to help people, but sometimes I feel unworthy. Please pray for me sister. I feel some people take my kindness for weakness.

  9. LOL..not at you nor the subject at hand but, at the hubby (it just sounds familiar is all…mine says the same thing). As always great post and you hit the nail on the head (you are just wise beyond your years lady)…as my mother would always say, confidence is key and if you don't love "you" no one else will…and for some reason out of everything that woman would preach and yell about THAT has always resonated with me (me being a Leo could have somethin' to do with that;). Lovin' the leather belt with the femme dress…as always you look fab.

  10. Wow Tanya this is so true! You did it again!!! I can definately relate to this. I struggled for a while with accepting who I am but now I have found comfort in my own skin and I Love who I am inside and out. I have learned that if you make the best of what you have to work with and you are comfortable, then that makes you be beautiful. A few years back when Bratz dolls first became popular, my friends, co-workers and family would laugh and make jokes and say that I look like an overweight Bratz doll….That really hurt my feelings for a while but one day I said, hey these dolls are kind of cute in their own unique way and yes I have gained a few extra pounds, but so be it!! And from that day own I began to embrace my curves and my Bratz doll appearance and I am confident (sometimes too much LOL) Also, I have no problem complementing other women, But sadly it often catches them off guard and they respond in a negative way, as if they think there is some kind of catch to my compliment…But yes thank you for sharing this with everyone, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there will always be someone that thinks you are beautiful 🙂

  11. Just when I've been looking for verses in the Bible about confidence. Just when I wanted to get one of those Bible verses tattooed on my body as a daily reminder of how special I am, even when I don't feel so. Tanya, Blessings to you and Hubby, you have no idea how much you help me whenever you update your blog, no matter what you talk about. You girl, uplift me on an almost daily basis. I wish I had a friend like you! You are beyond a blessing to me, no wonder you are so blessed! Love, Swahili Girl.

  12. Just when I've been looking for verses in the Bible about confidence. Just when I wanted to get one of those Bible verses tattooed on my body as a daily reminder of how special I am, even when I don't feel so. Tanya, Blessings to you and Hubby, you have no idea how much you help me whenever you update your blog, no matter what you talk about. You girl, uplift me on an almost daily basis. I wish I had a friend like you! You are beyond a blessing to me, no wonder you are so blessed! Love, Swahili Girl.

  13. Great post! I know a few women that so need to read this. LOL I agree with you 100% and by the way, you are just tooooo cute! Love your outfit doll and the shoes are killer. WORK it girl…

  14. So incredible! Now that message is powerful and so true. We as women should recognize how special and great we are. Just think if we all felt secured within ourselves. We would never have to worry about men issues because they would look at how we got it together and just fall in line. I love how you think! Thanks for sharing your message! Your dress is beautiful! Lovely colors

  15. Amen! It took me a while to get this, but when I did, I did. I am OK with who I am now. I am not where I want to be, but I not where I use to be and I stop comparing myself with others.


    Slow Strut, Rouge Lips – Not Just a Fashion Blog

  16. I couldn't agree with your post more. I am quick to give out a compliment also and even IF I am feeling insecure…I don't project that onto others with negativity about their situations because of my lack of security. I'm not perfect but I'm not trying to bring others down in my imperfection!

  17. Great post! It is never too late to learn this. Although I am not the jealous type I have become more alert to the games women do play trying to attract someone else's man. But I figure that if you spend more time concentrating on what you have to offer you won't have time to worry about what might cause you to lose what you have. If what you offer is not enough all you can say is good luck hunting and hope you find what you are looking for!

  18. oh my goodness, are those shoes green? Im gonna need those from another angle!

    that is a very nutritious proverb. Sometimes when I see pictures of a group of sistahs, and some may have more "desirable" features than others, but they all look gorgeous when they are smiling and you can tell in the picture the confidence is just there. And nobody is feeling insecure. That is beauty. Not being insecure and not comparing yourself, and radiating peace…

    I tries, but not always successful.

  19. I know that I'm late but you really ministered in this post; thank you for letting God use you in this way. I will never forget this message!

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